I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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