jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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