I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
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