i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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