totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
