Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Holy sore nipples Batman
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
