Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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