Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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