i may or may not be watching the land before time
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
