the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
