You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just want nice things and good sex
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
