Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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