we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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