I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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