Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
