There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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