i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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