I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
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she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
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Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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