So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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