i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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