Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
there is glitter all over my balls
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