he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
