doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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