I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
