I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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