Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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