I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
