Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize