you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
