This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
