you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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