I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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