From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Randomize
