dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I can't put those talents on a resume
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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