Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
