take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
