Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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