I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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