You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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