12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
