this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
