good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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