But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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