Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
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She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
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I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize