note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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