Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
