I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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