Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Life is so much better after having sex.
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Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
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It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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