Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
