mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
