this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
