You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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