I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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