Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
