I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
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She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
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Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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