I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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