I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.