I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10