This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
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I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
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U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.