Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops