Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?