Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
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The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
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i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.