Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
